Look, I was going to write a deep-dive analysis of Apple's launch week. Seriously. I was going to break down the iPhone 17e, the "affordable" MacBook, the new iPads, the impact on the Asian supply chain, the war with Samsung, the strategic pricing play...

But there's no article.

What I got was a Google cookies page. Literally. An "Accept or Reject" cookies screen in 47 different languages — from Kiswahili to ქართული — and absolutely zero journalistic content.

And you know what's beautiful? It's perfect. Because it sums up the state of financial journalism in 2025 perfectly.

Nothing Gift-Wrapped in a Headline

Think about it: someone on Google News indexed this MacRumors piece with a juicy headline — "What to Expect From Apple's Big Week: iPhone 17e, Cheap MacBook, New iPads and More" — and when you click, you get a wall of privacy policy.

It's the perfect metaphor for the modern financial market.

Bombshell headline. Content: nothing. Zero. As empty as the portfolio of anyone who followed trading tips from some Instagram influencer.

How many times have you clicked on a headline like "THIS STOCK IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE THIS WEEK" only to find a generic wall of text that could've been written in 2019? Exactly. Financial journalism has become this: a click-generating machine wrapped in tracking cookies.

What We Actually Know About Apple's Week

I'm going to do the job the article didn't. Because we don't sell smoke and mirrors here.

Apple is preparing a wave of launches that, if confirmed, include:

  • iPhone 17e: the new "budget" version — in massive air quotes, because "budget" for Apple means you only need to sell one kidney instead of two. It's the replacement for the SE line, positioned to fight for the market of people who want the Apple ecosystem without taking out a second mortgage.

  • Cheaper entry-level MacBook: Apple wants to take a bite out of the Chromebook and entry-level Windows laptop market. Classic Tim Cook strategy — expand the base, lock them into the ecosystem, extract services revenue for decades.

  • New iPads: because apparently the world needs yet another tablet variation that 80% of people use to watch Netflix in bed.

From an investor's perspective — which is what actually matters here — the real question isn't "what color will the new iPhone come in." The question is: does this move the revenue needle?

What Actually Matters If You've Got Skin in the Game

Apple ($AAPL) is at an interesting point. The company has essentially become a services machine that sells hardware as a gateway drug. Apple Music, iCloud, Apple TV+, Apple Pay — gross margin on services runs above 70%. Hardware? About 36%.

So when Tim Cook launches a "cheap" MacBook or a "budget" iPhone, it's not charity. It's the first hit is free. He wants another 200 million people paying for iCloud, Apple Music, and buying apps from the App Store for the next 15 years.

Warren Buffett didn't buy Apple because he thought the iPhone was pretty. He bought it because he understood that Apple is a recurring subscription company disguised as a hardware company. Possibly the best in the world at it.

The Empty Headline Circus

But back to the original point — and this is the point that really pisses me off.

We live in an era where the headline is the product. The content is irrelevant. Google News pushes a click-optimized headline, you click in, accept cookies that sell your data to 47 advertising companies, and walk away knowing nothing you didn't already know.

It's the perfect business model: you are the product, the headline is the bait, and the content is optional.

As Nassim Taleb would say: whoever wrote that headline has no skin in the game. They didn't buy a single share of Apple, didn't sell a put, didn't do a damn thing besides optimize a title for the algorithm.

And you, the one who clicked — you lost 30 seconds of your life you're never getting back.

The question that lingers: how many investment decisions have you made based on headlines that, if they were a meal, would be an empty plate with a fancy napkin?

Think about that before you click the next "WHAT TO EXPECT FROM..."